Funny Stories (English)

IGBO TRADER WRITING WAEC

Ebuka told
his Oga at the shop to please wait at the gate
and pick him up after his WAEC Commerce
exam at the Commercial Secondary School
where he registered. He was given Commerce
Exam question paper and the only question
he could answer was question number 3 and
it says: "Differentiate between a Warehouse
and a Shop" (20marks) After much thinking
he smiled and wrote his answer as fast as he
could: Warehouse is at Ojota while Shop is at
Alaba market. Then he submitted his paper
and went to meet his Oga at the gate: OGA:
Ebuka, how far? How e be? EBUKA: E dey so
simple Oga. Question number three say make
we differentiate between a warehouse & a
shop. OGA: Ehen-ehen...Wet in U come write?
EBUKA: hmmm. I write say "warehouse dey
for Ojota & shop dey for Alaba. OGA: So na the
only thing wey U write be dat? EBUKA: Yes
Oga. OGA: Chinekemee!!! U dey craze
Common go back & put the phone numbers &
our complete address. Stupid boy! Na so dem
take dey get customers

THE END

POST BY: admin

AKPOS AND JOHN

One day Akpos and John were watching T.V
when the news came on, showing a man
standing on a bridge about to commit
suicide, suddenlyAkpos said "I'll bet N500 that
the guy won't jump off", John said I bet N500
that he will jump. Unfortunately for Akpos the
man jumped off the bridge, Akpos accepted
his fate and stretched forth the money but
John didn't take it, saying "I can't take the
money coz I cheated, I already saw the news
this morning" but Akpos insisted and said "no
you can take it, I cheated too, I also watched
the news this morning, I just didn't know the
guy will be stupid enough to jump again!"

THE END

POST BY: admin

AKPOS AND HIS GIRLFRIEND

Akpos Girlfriend Found out that she was
pregnant. She called Akpos on the phone.
Girlfriend: Honey i miss my period.
Akpos: which of the subject?. MATHS OR
ENGLISH?.
2)Gf: Honey so you had another girlfriend. I
never knew you were a player.
Akpos: yes,i play for Barcelona.
3)Gf: baby i'm not feeling fine.
Akpos: oh! Sorry,have you taken your drugs?.
Gf: No, Just send me 500naira Mtn recharge
card, plz.
Akpos: Do you want to recharge your
sickness?.

THE END

POST BY: admin

MARK, BISMARK, GEORGE AND AKPORS

4 men – a Mark, Bismark, George and Akpors
were being interviewed for a top job.
The President decided to carry a test, with
each candidate being asked the same
question and the best answer would get
them the job.
The next morning, first up was Mark.
“Here’s your question,” said the President
“What’s the fastest thing in the world?”
Without hesitation, he replied “A thought,
because it takes no time at all.” “Very good
answer,” said the President.
Next up was the George, “What’s the
fastest thing in the world?” asked the
president. “A blink,” replied George “cos
you don’t think about a blink. It’s a reflex.”
“Good answer,” replied the president.
Next was Bismark, “What’s the fastest
thing in the world?” asked the president.
Bismark thought for a moment, “Electricity,
because you can flip a switch and 20 miles
away a light will go on immediately.”
“That’s a great answer,” replied the president.
Finally, it was Akpors' turn. “What's the
fastest thing in the world?” asked the
president. Scratching his head Akpors
replied: “Running Stomach, because last
night after eating, I was lying on my bed
when I got these stomach pains and before I
could think, blink or turn on the light, IT
DROPPED.
Be the judge who would u employ??

THE END

POST BY: admin

NEW ELEMENT ADDED TO PERIODIC TABLE

New elemnt Added 2 the Periodic
Table
Name : wife
Symbol : wi
Atomic Weight : Don't Even Dare
2 Ask!
Physical Proprties :
Boils at Anytime,
Can Freeze at Anytime,
Melts if Handled with Love & Care,
Very Bitter if Mishandled.!
Chemical Proprties:
Very Reactive,
Highly Unstable,
Posses Strong Affinity 4 Gold,
Platinm, Clothes & Othr Precious
Items,
Money Reducing Agent,
Volatile when left Alone.
Occurance:
Mostly found in front of mirror

THE END

POST BY: admin

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